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On Starting Over
I always heard that being in your thirties is the best. You come into your own and stop giving a shit about what people think. You learn to embrace who you are and stop trying to be who you think...
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Maddox’s Birth Story
A couple of weeks ago, I had coffee with a friend of mine. We sat down to chat and she said “Will you tell me Maddox’s birth story?”I stopped for a moment and realized, not a single person has asked me...
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Life Without Maddox: 3 Months
Three months have gone by. The length of an entire season. The time covered in each of those new episodes of Gilmore Girls.It feels like years. It feels like yesterday.When Maddox was in the NICU,...
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Maddox’s Unveiling
In the Jewish tradition, within the first year after losing a loved one, there is typically a ceremony where the headstone is placed called an unveiling. Now, I am not a religious person. However, the...
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I Used to Be Happy
How’s that for an uplifting title, eh?Most of my adult life has been spent moving forward, upward. I always felt like I was the best I had ever been. The best shape of my life, the most grounded, the...
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Dear Maddox: 4 Months
Dear Maddox,Yesterday you would have turned 4 months old. You would be smiling at people, holding your head up on your own, putting everything you touch into your mouth and starting to babble. You...
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Life Without Maddox: 4 Months {how we’re coping}
Sometimes I’m just sitting there and all of the sudden I miss Maddox so much it feels like my heart stops and the world freezes. I will go from feeling my new normal (which is still weird AF) to the...
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Dear Maddox: 5 Months
I’m a little late this month. But I think Maddox would forgive me.Dear Maddox,By now, you would be 5 months old, almost half a year. Time no longer feels like something measurable, but rather as this...
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Life Without Maddox: 5 Months
This morning I woke up like I have on the 15th of every month for the past 5 months. Before I opened my eyes, I felt a heaviness, a weight on my chest. My heart hurt long before my brain was fully...
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Dear World: Please Remember My Son
And just like that I find myself at 35 weeks pregnant. Five weeks away from my due date, but if Baby Mac & Cheese is anything like Maddox, probably a little less until we actually meet them.I’ve...
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